Today I have a grouse....not a personal one but a grouse on behalf of a good friend.She says the raconteur in me will help tell the story better.I hope I live up to her expectation(s).She married young, to someone more than a decade older than her.Married life was blissful and they had the kids who soon left the nest.So it was just the two of them and to her it was a chance to catch up on what they had missed...what with her time taken up for the kids.So she thought!!She tried to relive the times when they were young and vibrant..when they were in love but she had the greatest surprise of her life.He wanted no part of it.Too old for such things he said.And as time passed the marriage became jaded and now she has her reservations as to whether she made a mistake.
Now they are like house-mates.They don't share the same bed and life on the conjugal bed stopped a while ago.He's not interested although she's still willing.Much as she's still willing,she does not make a fuss over it.What she misses most are little cuddles,hugs,pecks on the cheek to show her or to prove to her(her own words)that the love is still alive.
She is hurt very deep that he has taken things for granted.He seems to be in a world of his own and she does not even belong in even the minutest corner in his life!She feels so left outShe can't do anything about it.She's too old to get a divorce.She's too old to get a job.She's too old to spread her wings.What a dilemma!!
Anyone listening to her lament would tell her to sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with him.She's tried and he changed.He becomes more attentive but hey it was shortlived.So it was back to square one.
Frustrated,she tells me that if anyone were to tell her that she's getting married to a much older man,she'd flatly tell her NOT to be stupid.The early days will be fine and dandy.Its the latter part that you'll find frustrating.
As I listen to her,I see the remorse and dejection in her eyes.I ask myself how I can help her but I find no answers.It would be easy to tell her to pick up a hobby,do something she's always wanted to do but never found the time to do so.You don't need a degree in counselling to come up with that solution because it will be of utmost difficulty for the person concerned to practise it.The solution lies in the man and for the many problems that women (married and unmarried) face,the solution is ALWAYS with the man.And many a time the man does not want to do anything about it....his ego gets the better of him!
There a deep silence between us as we are both in deep thought.Then she says she's glad she's got it off her chest and she simply says that tomorrow's another day.It might be a good day insyallah God willing.We say our goodbyes and promise to keep in touch.
That heavy feeling is still in my head and I head for the kitchen for a cuppa.I see him there his head bent low over a sodoku puzzle and I wonder.Hey he might do this too then I've got to find another story teller...just joking!Igive him a peck on the cheek and ask him if he too wants a cuppa.
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